Joy English · Level C2 · Arts and culturejoy-english.com

A museum of nothing in particular

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A review of an invented museum of everyday objects. Practise judging tone, balance and the writer's real opinion.

A museum of nothing in particular

It takes a certain nerve for a museum to announce that it contains nothing of importance. The Vessling Museum of Ordinary Things, which opened last month in a former ferry terminal on the city's waterfront, does so in its first line of wall text, and then, with a confidence that borders on mischief, proceeds to prove itself right. There are no crowns, no swords and no masterpieces. There are, instead, eleven hundred objects that nobody ever thought to keep, and a good many visitors who seem delighted to find them.

The curators have gathered them under headings of studied modesty: Things Lost, Things Mended, Things Left on Buses. A cabinet of single gloves is arranged by size, so that the gentle progression from a toddler's mitten to a labourer's gauntlet reads, unexpectedly, like a portrait of growing up. Elsewhere, a wall of reading glasses, each pair accompanied by a handwritten prescription, makes the collective case that the human race has always squinted at the same thing, which is the small print.

The best gallery, and the one that justifies the whole enterprise, is the room devoted to repairs. Here a teapot has been mended with such a tangle of wire and solder that the repair has become the object; a pair of boots has been resoled so often that little of the original survives. A label observes, drily, that the owner "regarded replacement as a failure of imagination". One leaves the room with a faint, pleasing guilt about the drawer of broken things at home.

Not everything succeeds. The museum's central conceit, that the ordinary becomes extraordinary the moment it is placed behind glass, is a good one, but it cannot be repeated indefinitely, and by the third room of bottle tops and bus tickets the effect begins to wear thin. The audio guide, narrated in a hushed and reverent tone suited to a cathedral, is the museum's single serious misjudgement. Hearing a solemn voice describe a sock as "a witness to ordinary courage" makes a visitor long for the sock to be left alone.

There is, besides, an unresolved question about who is being flattered. The wall texts speak warmly of "everyday lives", yet the collection leans, perhaps inevitably, towards the things that survive: the sturdy, the sentimental, the lucky. Those that truly vanished without trace, the disposable and the unremarked, are present only as absences, and the museum's one attempt to acknowledge this, a bare shelf labelled "Things We Could Not Find", is more witty than convincing.

Still, it would be churlish to dwell on faults in a place so evidently made with affection. The staff, many of them volunteers, will happily tell you where each object came from, and the stories they tell are better than the labels. On my visit a guide described a single button, found in a field, with the air of one introducing a distant relative, and I found that I was listening to the end.

The museum will not change anyone's life and, to its credit, never claims that it will. What it may do is something quieter and arguably more useful: it teaches the visitor to look. I left through the gift shop, where, in a final flourish, nothing is for sale but postcards of objects that are not in the collection. I bought three. It seemed only fair, and rather cheaper than a ticket to anywhere else.

Understand the text

Read the text carefully. Choose the best answer. Some questions ask about what the writer implies rather than what is stated.

  1. What is the reviewer's overall verdict on the museum?
    • a) Strongly negative, with a few small compliments
    • b) Warmly favourable, with a few reservations
    • c) Neutral, because the museum is too modest to judge
    • d) Enthusiastic, with no real criticism at all
  2. How does the reviewer see the museum's claim that it holds "nothing of importance"?
    • a) As a serious mistake that misleads visitors
    • b) As false, because it contains priceless treasures
    • c) As an insult to the people who donated objects
    • d) As true in the usual sense of importance, but made with playful confidence
  3. What point is made by the cabinet of single gloves arranged by size?
    • a) Gloves are the most important objects in the collection
    • b) Ordinary objects can gain meaning when they are displayed as a series
    • c) Children lose more gloves than adults
    • d) The curators ran out of space for other objects
  4. According to the reviewer, what effect does the repairs gallery have on visitors?
    • a) It makes visitors think about how they treat their own possessions
    • b) It contains the most valuable objects
    • c) It has the largest number of exhibits
    • d) It is the only room with a guide
  5. What is the reviewer's criticism of the audio guide?
    • a) It is too quiet to hear
    • b) It gives incorrect information about the objects
    • c) Its solemn tone does not suit the modest subject matter
    • d) It is too short
  6. What does the question "who is being flattered" suggest?
    • a) The museum claims to celebrate everyday life but mainly shows items that happened to survive
    • b) Wealthy people are favoured in the displays
    • c) The reviewer was given special treatment
    • d) The staff pay too many compliments to visitors
  7. What does "more witty than convincing" mean about the bare shelf?
    • a) It is a convincing solution but not funny
    • b) It is neither funny nor convincing
    • c) It is a clever idea that does not really solve the problem
    • d) It is both very funny and very persuasive
  8. What is the tone of the last three sentences?
    • a) Bitter and sarcastic
    • b) Gently amused and affectionate
    • c) Formal and critical
    • d) Anxious and uncertain

Words and details

Choose the best meaning in context, or type the missing word.

  1. In paragraph 2, "studied modesty" means modesty that is
    • a) sincere and unplanned
    • b) boastful and loud
    • c) false and unkind
    • d) deliberate and carefully presented
  2. In paragraph 4, the "central conceit" is
    • a) the curator's pride in the collection
    • b) the main idea on which the museum is based
    • c) a mistake in the layout
    • d) a type of display case
  3. "The effect begins to wear thin" means that the effect
    • a) becomes too delicate to touch
    • b) disappears completely at once
    • c) grows stronger
    • d) becomes less impressive through repetition
  4. "A label observes, drily" means that the label comments
    • a) in a dull and boring way
    • b) with a serious warning
    • c) in a calm, humorous, understated way
    • d) in very formal language
  5. In paragraph 6, "churlish" means
    • a) ungenerous and unreasonably critical
    • b) extremely polite
    • c) unusually cheerful
    • d) badly informed
  6. The museum opened in a former ___ terminal. (one word)
  7. In the repairs room, a pair of ___ has been resoled so often that little of the original survives. (one word)

Answer key

Understand the text

  1. b) Warmly favourable, with a few reservationsHe praises the affection, the repairs room and the guides, but criticises the audio guide, the repetition and the selectivity.
  2. d) As true in the usual sense of importance, but made with playful confidenceThere are "no crowns, no swords and no masterpieces", yet the statement is made with a confidence that "borders on mischief", so it is teasing rather than apologetic.
  3. b) Ordinary objects can gain meaning when they are displayed as a seriesThe arrangement turns trivial items into a "portrait of growing up", showing that display creates meaning.
  4. a) It makes visitors think about how they treat their own possessionsHe calls it the room that "justifies the whole enterprise" and says one leaves it with "a faint, pleasing guilt about the drawer of broken things at home".
  5. c) Its solemn tone does not suit the modest subject matterA "hushed and reverent tone suited to a cathedral" is out of keeping with socks and bottle tops, and so undermines the museum's own spirit.
  6. a) The museum claims to celebrate everyday life but mainly shows items that happened to surviveThe paragraph says the collection leans towards the sturdy, the sentimental and the lucky, so it is a selective picture of ordinary life.
  7. c) It is a clever idea that does not really solve the problemThe reviewer enjoys the joke but does not think it repairs the museum's selectivity.
  8. b) Gently amused and affectionateThe joke about the postcards and "It seemed only fair" show a light, fond humour consistent with his generally warm verdict.

Words and details

  1. d) deliberate and carefully presentedStudied describes something done on purpose; the modest headings are a deliberate style.
  2. b) the main idea on which the museum is basedHere a conceit is the clever central idea of the museum: that ordinary things become interesting behind glass.
  3. d) becomes less impressive through repetitionTo wear thin is to lose force because of overuse.
  4. c) in a calm, humorous, understated wayA dry remark is humorous but delivered without obvious emotion.
  5. a) ungenerous and unreasonably criticalIt would be churlish to criticise a place made with affection, i.e. petty and rude.
  6. ferryThe first paragraph says it opened in a former ferry terminal.
  7. bootsParagraph 3 mentions a pair of boots resoled so often that little of the original survives.